It is sadder

… to close the door after someone, than to have them slam the door on you.

Hearts break everyday.  Too many of ‘em.

♥

Maybe Not for This

I don’t think I’m made for this.

Each day I am doubtful, that this path is not what is meant for me.  Then I think of what could be, all the could-be’s that are attached to following through with this chosen direction of academia.

Then I say, “Hmmm…“.  More and more.

I wonder, and I wonder when. One can almost hear my sigh as one reads this post.

Good luck, fellow students!  May the Exam Gods guide you well.

i pine for you

i look at the list

and i see all these names

but yours is the only one i’m looking for

i look at the list

and i see all these names

but yours is the call i can’t wait for

the doors chime

and the tinkling echoes

in my head and in my chest

i can feel it fill my mind

but it’s not you at the door

i’m on the lookout for you

come again, soon

All Work and Aching to Play

Makes Bea a Sad Girl

Last paper of November and December overdue,
but coming right up!!

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.

Already?

It’s NOVEMBER!

Welcome to the second half of the -ber months.
In the thick of school assignments, and I find time to post non-important blogs.  WOO!!  But this is always how I do it.

Is this grade five?

(And this, this is how I feel.)

Curieuse
Songeuse
Anxious!

Because I want to take a break from Maupassant’s Bel-Ami, and just pretend, apprehensively ponder.  I’m procrastinating, and really I’m, I’m curious!!

A. Keys always describes it the way I feel.

Geeze.

Please Don’t Ask Me to Be Responsible Today

 

I’m not fit for it.

 

 

Move away, Fear.

Because all I can do in your wake is shudder, shake in my sheer-see-through-shirt-skirt ensemble.  I don’t feel like I am moving forward, really, as much as I’d like to think I am.  I feel I am just doing OK, doing the minimum amount required for my development.
My focus?  Is not in the right place.  I want a time-out.  A break, for so long it’s all I wanted.  Til now. Up to now. Even now.  I don’t think I’ve gotten one, really.  And I’m sure I sound really angst-full and emo-tastic.  On the contrary, I do not feel hatred or malcontent towards anyone/anything.
I am simply wishing for better days, better times, for myself.
But it always gets in the way, fear.  I can’t seem to move past it.
I’m probably using it as a crutch to not leap, to not jump.  I’m so motherfucking scared of what I don’t know.  I can’t get over it.

Move away, Fear, because I want to be rid of you.

I don’t have…

… anything new to share.

Except maybe this:

Not sorry if we irk you. Haha!  This is me and Bea Junior.
Our faces are only slightly smaller than this, in reality.  Thanks to the ‘BULGE’ effect on Photobooth for the boost!

Taken at the two-day getaway/sleepover with sisters, sans maman (without mother).  Highly needed.

Back to pretending to read Britannicus by Racine. hehe.

The Flood Pt. II

I say Pt. II because after the calamity, we have the RESCUE.
Pt. I is found here.

Mirroring k.signa’s post on what we at the Kapisanan Philippine Centre for Arts and Culture (KPC) are doing for our people affected by Typhoon Ondoy.

Over a dozen young Filipino poets (me, too!) have decided to turn a renegade Nuit Blanche Pay-What-You-Can event into a Cause!

SAT OCT 3rd
167 Augusta Ave
PSL: benefit fundraiser for Typhoon Ondoy victims
Show @8pm | Open Mic @10pm

We are donating what we can:
clothes, shoes, apparel, spare change, money that folds, meds;
all of these help!!

*this event is open to all
bring ID, as we are serving alcohol.

SEE YOU THERE!